Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

You're so nebulous sometimes

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(440): View more from Ohio

My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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(408): View more from California

there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out

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(636): View more from Missouri

I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

More like a demented cow.

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(208): View more from Idaho

only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up

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