me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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