I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
