As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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