i think my tv is drunk
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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