Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
God, I missed his penis.
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