now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
