Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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