I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
