through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
