Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
