Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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