this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
