the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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