glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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