Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
