He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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