My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
