My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
