I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
