I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
