sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
