How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
