If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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