We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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