he shaved USA in his pubs
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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