She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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