I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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