her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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