Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
