Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
