I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I need moral support for this bender
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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