Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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