i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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