too bad you live with your parents still
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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