I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
