I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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