that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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