I hate your face
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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