70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
