he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
