I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
