Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
