last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well you can't waste a boner
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
