I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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