Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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