its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
