its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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