Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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