He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
