I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
