she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think a kid would responsible me up
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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