I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the room spins SO much faster in panama
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
