I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
