He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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