Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
