So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
