the condom got lost in my hair
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
