She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
